Come Together - Summary

Emily Nagoski, a sex educator, once faced difficulty maintaining sexual interest while she was writing a book about women's sexuality. This led her to delve into research on how to sustain sexual connection in long-term relationships. She discovered that the key elements are being good friends who trust and admire each other, deciding that sex is important and suits your unique relationship, and co-creating an environment conducive to experiencing pleasure. In her new book, "Come Together," Nagoski shares these insights. The book is structured into two parts. Part One explains how to sustain sexual connection over time. It emphasizes what is important in maintaining sexual connection, the importance of prioritizing sex, the brain science behind sexual interest, and essential tools for accessing pleasure. Part Two addresses common issues in long-term relationships and overcoming cultural barriers using the tools discussed. Nagoski uses a powerful analogy to describe sexuality: it is like a garden. Early messages from family and culture plant ideas in us that may or may not contribute to our pleasure. We have the ability to cultivate our garden, choosing what to nurture and what to discard. When sharing this garden with a partner, it involves blending two gardens over time. With proper care, the shared garden can flourish for many years. "Come Together" provides practical guidance for tending both our individual and shared gardens to maximize their erotic potential.