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Love Worth Making

Stephen Snyder, M.D.

303 Pages
2018

Love Worth Making

How to Have Ridiculously Great Sex in a Long-Lasting Relationship

St. Martin's Press

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โšก Free 3min Summary

Love Worth Making - Summary

In this groundbreaking exploration of sexuality and intimacy in long-term relationships, Dr. Stephen Snyder presents a fresh perspective that moves beyond technical advice to address the emotional and psychological foundations of satisfying sexual connections. Drawing from his three decades of experience as a sex therapist, Snyder reveals how couples can maintain passionate and fulfilling intimate lives by understanding and embracing their deepest sexual feelings, childhood influences, and authentic selves.

Key Ideas

1

The Emotional Foundations of Sexual Pleasure

Understanding that great sex stems from emotional connection rather than technical expertise. Snyder emphasizes how our earliest experiences shape our sexual selves and how acknowledging these influences can lead to more fulfilling intimate relationships.

2

The Power of Authentic Sexual Expression

True sexual satisfaction comes from embracing our authentic sexual selves rather than performing to meet perceived expectations. This includes accepting our vulnerabilities and communicating openly with our partners about our desires and fears.

3

The Balance of Desire and Connection

Maintaining sexual interest in long-term relationships requires understanding the different ways men and women experience desire, while nurturing both physical and emotional intimacy through daily "simmering" and meaningful connection.

FAQ's

Couples can maintain sexual interest by focusing on emotional connection, practicing "simmering" (brief moments of arousal throughout the day), and avoiding pressure to perform. It's about creating an environment of genuine desire rather than obligation.

Childhood experiences significantly shape our adult sexuality by influencing our attachment styles, comfort with intimacy, and sexual confidence. Understanding these connections can help resolve current sexual difficulties and improve relationship satisfaction.

Couples should approach mismatched desires with empathy and open communication, focusing on understanding the underlying emotional needs rather than just the physical aspects. It's important to create a safe space for both partners to express their feelings without judgment.

๐Ÿ’ก Full 15min Summary

Sexual identity's acceptance is crucial for pleasure and true intimacy.
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Sexuality intimately ties to one's sense of self. Many individuals embark on a journey of self-discovery and acceptance to uncover their true sexual identity. For example, Carmen experienced difficulty feeling arousal and reaching orgasm with her new husband. Through therapy, she learned the importance of releasing the pressure to climax and instead, focusing on feeling close and accepted. By creating a nurturing environment, Carmen's arousal followed naturally.

Similarly, Sarina had a different experience. She enjoyed sex with her husband but sensed something was missing. Over time, she realized she had been suppressing her attraction to women. Accepting her identity as a lesbian, Sarina eventually entered a fulfilling relationship that aligned with her authentic self.

Sexuality seeks to express our true selves, which provides a sense of validation and liveliness. However, for those whose sexual identity diverges from the mainstream, the journey of self-discovery can be lonely and c

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