Snackz logo
You're Not Listening

Kate Murphy

304 Pages
2020

You're Not Listening

What You're Missing and Why It Matters

Celadon Books

Below is just an AI summary! If you really want to learn something:

โšก Free 3min Summary

You're Not Listening - Summary

In "You're Not Listening," Kate Murphy explores the lost art of listening in a world dominated by constant digital communication and self-promotion. Despite the myriad ways we can connect, true listening has become a rare skill, leading to increased loneliness and isolation. Murphy, a seasoned journalist, delves into the psychology, neuroscience, and sociology behind why we fail to listen and the profound impact it has on our relationships and society. Through engaging anecdotes and practical advice, she introduces us to exceptional listeners from various walks of life, offering insights on how we can all improve our listening skills.

Key Ideas

1

The Science of Listening

Murphy explains the psychological and neurological reasons behind our listening deficiencies. She highlights how our brains are wired to prioritize speaking over listening, and how this imbalance affects our ability to connect with others. Understanding these scientific principles is the first step towards becoming a better listener.

2

Cultural and Social Influences

The book delves into how modern culture, with its emphasis on self-promotion and digital communication, has eroded our listening skills. Murphy discusses how social media and technology have created environments where talking is valued over listening, leading to superficial interactions and a lack of genuine connection.

3

Practical Listening Techniques

Murphy provides actionable advice on how to improve listening skills. She shares techniques used by some of the best listeners, such as a CIA agent and a top furniture salesman, to demonstrate how effective listening can enhance personal and professional relationships. These practical tips are designed to help readers become more attentive and empathetic listeners.

FAQ's

The main theme of "You're Not Listening" is the importance of genuine listening in a world where digital communication and self-promotion have become prevalent. Kate Murphy emphasizes how true listening is a rare skill that can significantly impact our relationships and society.

Kate Murphy explains the decline in listening skills through psychological, neurological, and sociological perspectives. She discusses how our brains are wired to prioritize speaking over listening and how modern culture, with its focus on self-promotion and digital communication, has further eroded our ability to listen effectively.

"You're Not Listening" offers practical advice on improving listening skills by sharing techniques used by exceptional listeners, such as a CIA agent and a top furniture salesman. These techniques are designed to help readers become more attentive and empathetic listeners, enhancing both personal and professional relationships.

๐Ÿ’ก Full 15min Summary

Modern society risks losing the art of listening, exacerbating loneliness despite technological connectivity.
0:00 / 1:39

The ability to truly listen to others is becoming a lost art in modern society. People used to connect through long conversations on front porches or around campfires. Now busy lives and technology distract us - we look at phones instead of each other. Studies show an epidemic of loneliness, even though people seem "connected" through social media. But posting and scrolling don't provide real human interaction.

Listening creates understanding between people. The author, an experienced journalist, finds her best story ideas come from random conversations when she really listens to someone. She's had profound moments when sources open up about very personal things. Good listening makes people feel heard and less alone. It builds empathy.

But many never learned to listen well. From childhood, "listen" meant obeying rules. Politicians, celebrities and media prioritize talking over listening. Social media and polling try to gauge public opinion, but these are poor substitutes for in-depth personal conversations.

With practice, we can improve our listening and connect meaningfully with others. Listening takes effort, focus and patience. But it is essential for relationships, insight and reducing loneliness. In our distracted world, good listeners are rare - but needed more than ever. The rewards are understanding, wisdom and human connection.

Enjoyed the sneak peak? Get the full summary!

Explore Books

GO TELL IT ON THE MOUNTAIN

GO TELL IT ON THE MOUNTAIN

JAMES BALDWIN

230 Pages
1953
No Way to Behave at a Funeral

No Way to Behave at a Funeral

A Tale of Personal Loss through Suicide

Noel Braun

251 Pages
2018
The Pleasures of Philosophy

The Pleasures of Philosophy

A Survey of Human Life and Destiny

Will Durant

446 Pages
1967
The Enlightened Sex Manual

The Enlightened Sex Manual

Sexual Skills for the Superior Lover

David Deida

117 Pages
2007
Age as Disease

Age as Disease

Anti-Aging Technologies, Sites and Practices

David-Jack Fletcher

349 Pages
2021
Elantris

Elantris

Brandon Sanderson

508 Pages
2005
Along Came a Spider

Along Came a Spider

(Alex Cross 1)

James Patterson

454 Pages
2017
Moonwalking with Einstein

Moonwalking with Einstein

The Art and Science of Remembering Everything

Joshua Foer

341 Pages
2011
Happy Place

Happy Place

Emily Henry

401 Pages
2023
Find Your Why

Find Your Why

A Practical Guide for Discovering Purpose for You and Your Team

Simon Sinek, David Mead, Peter Docker

258 Pages
2017
Find Your Unicorn Space

Find Your Unicorn Space

Reclaim Your Creative Life in a Too-Busy World

Eve Rodsky

353 Pages
2022
Good Strategy Bad Strategy

Good Strategy Bad Strategy

The Difference and Why It Matters

Richard Rumelt

338 Pages
2011
The Sugar Barons

The Sugar Barons

Matthew Parker

484 Pages
2011
The Wretched of the Earth

The Wretched of the Earth

Frantz Fanon

328 Pages
2007
Pedro Pรกramo

Pedro Pรกramo

Rulfo, Juan, Weatherford, Douglas J., Mรกrquez, Gabriel Garcรญa

144 Pages
2023
She Comes First

She Comes First

The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman

Ian Kerner

0 Pages
2019
All of Me

All of Me

How I Learned to Live with the Many Personalities Sharing My Body

Kim Noble

394 Pages
2012
The Rise of Tiger Claw (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)

The Rise of Tiger Claw (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)

Nickelodeon Publishing

117 Pages
2016
Starling House

Starling House

A Reese Witherspoon Book Club Pick that is the perfect dark Gothic fairytale for autumn!

Alix E. Harrow

392 Pages
2023
Pete the Cat: 5-Minute Pete the Cat Stories

Pete the Cat: 5-Minute Pete the Cat Stories

Includes 12 Groovy Stories!

James Dean

0 Pages
2017
The Language of Breath

The Language of Breath

Discover Better Emotional and Physical Health through Breathing and Self-Awareness--With 20 holistic breathwork practices

Jesse Coomer

239 Pages
2023
Japanese Candlestick Charting Techniques

Japanese Candlestick Charting Techniques

A Contemporary Guide to the Ancient Investment Techniques of the Far East, Second Edition

Steve Nison

321 Pages
2001
Of Mice and Men

Of Mice and Men

John Steinbeck

140 Pages
2000
Border as Method, or, the Multiplication of Labor

Border as Method, or, the Multiplication of Labor

Sandro Mezzadra, Brett Neilson

380 Pages
2013
The Count of Monte Cristo Volume 1รขle Comte de Monte-Cristo Tome 1: English-French Parallel Text Edition in Six Volumes

The Count of Monte Cristo Volume 1รขle Comte de Monte-Cristo Tome 1: English-French Parallel Text Edition in Six Volumes

Alexandre Dumas

433 Pages
2010
The Complete Persepolis

The Complete Persepolis

Marjane Satrapi

356 Pages
2007
Story of a Heart

Story of a Heart

Two Families, One Heart, and the Medical Miracle that Saved a Child's Life

Rachel Clarke

256 Pages
2024
Savage Messiah

Savage Messiah

How Dr. Jordan Peterson Is Saving Western Civilization

Jim Proser

320 Pages
2020
Weather For Dummies

Weather For Dummies

John D. Cox

384 Pages
2021
The Plot Against America

The Plot Against America

Philip Roth

52 Pages
2010

Let's find the best book for you!

Get book summaries directly into your inbox!

Join more than 10,000 readers in our newsletter

Snackz book

Discover the Snackz AI catalogue

Snackz logo

The right book at the right time will change your life.

Get the books directly into your inbox!

โœ… New Release

โœ… Book Recommendation

โœ… Book Summaries

Copyright 2023-2025. All rights reserved.